Here's a little Christmas song for you to sing to yourself whenever you get tired of all the Tiger, Tiger, Tiger news blitz. Sung to the tune of Nuttin’ for Christmas (Tepper/Benjamin, 1955), it goes like this:
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
My hot wife, Elin, is mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.
I’m caught with Mistress Number One
Somebody snitched on me.
Then two, three, four, but we’re not done
Somebody snitched on me.
My wife found out and scratched my face
Took my golf club and gave me chase
I wrecked the car outside my place
Somebody snitched on me.
CHORUS
Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
My dear wife, Elin, is mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.
They wonder now what makes me tick
Somebody snitched on me
Some say I’m just a sex addict
Somebody snitched on me
I said I’m not that kind of guy
But still got stuck with a DUI
And our pre-nup has gone sky-high
Since somebody snitched on me!
(Repeat chorus)
Here’s hoping your next two weeks before Christmas go better than this poor guy’s.
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